I’m all lost…

I’ve really got to start rethinking the being nice thing. I don’t get why people, especially men, mistake friendliness for anything else. It’s part of my job to be nice and smile and help people find crap. Today was a typical day at work with one huge exception-I was groped by a perverted old man. He tried to grab my tits while standing behind me and I very calmly walked away, went into the back of the store and freaked the fuck out. My manager was back there and I asked him to go help the guy. I stayed back there texting my BFF about what had happened for a few minutes then returned to the front part of the store after making sure the shitass was gone. (sidenote-my Mom invented the word “shitass” I think-she called my Dad that when he was late with the child support) What gives people the right to do that though? I think the man was batshit, Mel Gibson-style crazy-he looked a little off. And he had the nerve to ask my manager where I went to, “did I scare her off?” Daryl said he wanted to tell the guy, “Oh, no-she”s just loading her Glock-she’ll be right back” but thought that might cause more issues.

I feel like I actually need to start carrying my gun now-this man knows my name (well, my first name since it’s on my fucking SHIRT-thank you, asshat company!) and where I work. I’m genuinely creeped out by him. My friends that I’ve told this story to have unanimously asked right off the bat “Did you slap/kick/punch the dude?” but no, I didn’t. I just walked away. Fight or flight-guess I’m not as badass as I thought I was. In my defense, I didn’t want to get fired for punching a customer and since we have no video cameras in our store (note that shoplifters!) I couldn’t prove I had the right to knock this guy on his ass. Had this happened in a bar or a grocery store that old fucker would have been on the ground.

I had a lot of drive time today to think about all of it and the one of the bigger issues is this-I wonder if I encouraged it in any way? He started off telling me how much I reminded him of his supposed sister who had red hair and looked like he was going to cry. He then asked me for a hug and idiot that I am I gave him a very distant, London-bridge kind of hug. That’s when he made his move, getting behind me and trying to cop a feel. He has obviously tried this scam before-I think he’s a total creeper. If he ever comes in again I am getting his license plate number and calling my buddy who’s a detective with the APD to run his info. So that’s where the “am I too nice” question comes in. I’m just going to be an asshole to everyone from now on at work (well, customers not bro-workers) to stave off any future issues.

The other thing I thought of was I’m afraid to be truthful/bitchy when I should be. At the very least I could have yelled “get your hands off me” but didn’t want to embarrass him. WHAAAAAAAAT?  I lie a LOT when people are rude to me in person or if ask me if they have offended me after the fact. I need to get over that. So I’m going to drop some truth here and if it seems like it applies to any of you dear readers take it FWIW (hint-some may not apply to any of you):

• yes, I faked most of them.
• Actually, it is a bit small. And you should have gotten “the tap” No wonder your wife won’t let you below the equator.
• I was really irritated when you fucked your co-worker and I don’t really find it flattering that you’ve been rather stalkery all these years. Shit or get off the pot.
• you are crass and you did hurt my feelings on more than one occasion. Also, you’re pretty insensitive/selfish.

Well, that was rather liberating. Moving on…

If that weren’t enough, I pick up Tank from camp and while in the line at Taco Bell he tells me his ex-girlfriend doesn’t understand the concept of breaking up. He broke up with her yesterday because she was cheating on him. How six and seven year olds cheat on one another is irrelevant but he then went on to say that “Destiny told me she wanted to kiss me on the…” and pointed to his crotch. I froze, again hearing Kyle’s mom’s voice say “What what WHAAAAAAAT?” I told him that that was a very inappropriate thing for her to do. I asked him if she used the actual word penis and he said no, she just gestured “down there”. So how the hell does a 1st grader know about THAT? I am pissed off as well as concerned-pissed that if the mother has allowed her daughter to be exposed to stuff like that well, that in itself is abuse. Concerned because what if she got the idea from being made to do it to a relative or neighbor? This is majorly bad. I’m talking to the teacher tomorrow morning when I drop Tank off at camp. Seriously, something needs to be done about that. Promiscuity starts earlier these days, I get that, but at this age it is waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too soon.

This also means I will probably have to have the birds and the bees talk with him sooner than later. I called CC to tell him the tale and ask him what he thinks. The first thing he did was laugh. Way to be an idiot, CC. I love your consistency. Never change. He didn’t think “the talk” needed to happen yet. I’m still on the fence.

At least I got a sweet deal on some pretty nail polishes today at CVS-they are all rather sheer, glass-fleck type finishes in shades of blue, green and purple. Looking forward to playing with them this weekend. BTW, the mani i did Saturday lasted 5 days. That’s crazysauce! I had my hands all up in cars this week between batteries and wipers plus I had to help unload our truck yesterday. FIVE days is unheard of for me.