I’m all lost…

My battery died today, in the parking lot of a Sally Beauty Supply where I was of course, shopping. 20 minutes earlier it started up without a hitch. then, nothing. So I’m sitting in the parking lot with the hood up poking around and people are driving by. Three different women ask me if there is anything they can do to help like let me borrow their cell or what have you but for 20 minutes not a single man stopped to ask if I needed help. Then a nice guy in a doo-rag and baggy pants asked me if I needed assistance-I asked him if he had jumper cables but he didn’t so I thanked him any way. I had to call my Mom who upon arrival started immediately bitching and moaning. She insisted we call a tow truck and have the car towed to a garage close to my apartment. I told her since there is a auto parts store (the same company I work for) nearby I want to go there and get the battery tester first in an attempt to save the $100 plus it would cost for the tow. She doesn’t see the logic.

I get the battery tester, return to the car and sure enough the CCA are only 112 out of 600. Go back and get their remote charger, jump the car off and go to the store for another battery. Buy the battery. The kid there says he doesn’t mind installing it so I agree since it’s a fucking side post situation and I don’t want to deal with it. Turns out you have to fucking disassemble a LOT of shit to get to the battery to change it so since they are so busy he tells me to keep their store’s charger and come back tomorrow since the store closes  in an  hour and there are only 2 people working.

While I am standing around, I start talking to a couple who also have their hood up. The store didn’t have the part he needed so he was trying to jerry-rig (sp?) something to get him home to TN. He asked me if I had a wire coat hanger; I told him I live nearby so I would be back in a few minutes. My Mom drives Tank back to our place and I go in search of a coat hanger, engine running the whole time so I don’t have to jump my car again. She starts giving me maaaajor grief about being “too helpful”. I finally scream at her “GOLDEN RULE!” get my kid out of the car and tell her to basically GTFO.

Finding a wire coat hanger in my house is like finding a virgin at a high school-if Mommy Dearest taught me anything it was “no wire hangers, EVAH!!!!” So I take Tank to the Vietnamese folks apartment and ask them if they have a wire hanger. He gets me jumper cables. I tell him “wire clothes hanger” but I get a blank look. So I ask his wife if she can watch Tank for a few minutes while I go in search of said hanger. The Jamaican ladies are hanging out on their porch, doing a weave on one of their friends and one of them finds me a blessed hanger so I go back to the store and deliver the magical tool. The lady asks me if I work there and I tell her I work for the company at a different location. She then grouses about how those boys weren’t helpful at all. I tried to make an excuse for them but really, there wasn’t much they could do to get the part at 8PM on a Saturday night. So hopefully they get back to Johnson City and I get my battery changed tomorrow. Though I have a feeling it’s not just the battery-I think the alternator is going too. It’s making a really weird noise that I am hoping is just because there is so little juice getting to it. We shall see.

While I was there  one of the guys said “We just became short one guy as of today, why don’t you come work with us?” That would be interesting IF I could get enough hours but honestly I would hate to leave my bro-workers where I currently am. They are just adorbs. If my stalker keeps up his antics I may have to get a transfer. I fished out one of my old engagement rings from Mom’s jewelry box when we were over there earlier today and brought it home so I can wear it at work in an effort to wart off any further creepers. However, it may also repel any eligible bachelors too. Conversely, it may attract them. Social experiment indeed, Jerome.